Wow. That's about all I have today. Wow. Our number 1 and 2 picks are both eliminated in the second race. Wow. Retardation ruined Hamlin's day (more on that later) and mechanical failure ruined Kenseth's. Wow. With the loss of Matt Kenseth, Scott Mann is the first entry eliminated. Once again, the first pick curse stops an otherwise great entry early in the session.
The race, you ask? What did I think, you ask? Well, where do I start.....
Lets start with Tony Stewart tearing up his equipment making a point to Paul Menard in the first 30 minutes of the race. What are you thinking. You need solid finishes if you expect to contend for a championship, Smoke. It was tough enough to avoid wrecks on the track on Sunday, you don't need to make your own on Pit Road.
Next up, Denny Hamlin. I have lost all respect for him. You had a fast car. A really fast car, as a matter of fact. You got stupid impatient, wrecked the 45, and took both of you out. It irritates me to hear Crusty Wallace's supposed unbiased commentary. He never lays blame on anyone. Grow a pair, Blue Douche. Hamlin outright wrecked the 45. Its OK to admit it to the TV audience. You don't have to ride the fence.
This mishap graced me with my favourite racing post-wreck tradition. The driver garage confrontation. I love it. Its like the weigh-in for a heavyweight match. Neither guy has balls enough to throw a punch. They stand, chest out, posturing, waiting like a seventh grader for the other guy to back down. I love this stuff. I loved when Kyle Petty yanked down the window net to say not-so nice things (I could read some pretty R-rated stuff on his lips) to Denny. I think Denny deserved it. I read an article this morning (I'd have linked to it, but I can't find it now) saying how Petty should move over and let the Chase guys race and all that crap. Listen. To all of you who think the championship is so goddamn important, maybe you should take your 12 precious drivers and run a 12 car race. How interesting would that be? Huh? Idiots. Kyle Petty fields a decent team every week. So does the 96 and the 10 and the 78, and the 21 (I can go on). They deserve to run their cars around the track, gain experience, gain exposure, just like the 12 guys vying for a championship. I hate you fucking assholes that forget about the other 31 cars on the track. That's what makes the whole deal fun to watch. You can play with yourself or play with someone else - your choice.
OK, on to other race stuff. The #31 was sooooo lucky. I am actually working on a couple conspiracy theories from this past race, and number one is that NASCAR didn't want one of their Chase cars laps down early in this race. They threw a debris caution as soon as Burton fell a lap down. He gets the free pass. During pit stops a #55 crew member is hurt. Race resumes. Burton goes a lap down a couple cautions later and.... BAM, Caution so the injured gas man can be driven to the hospital. Nice. He ended up taking a bad car and finishing in the top 10. I shouldn't complain.
Conspiracy #2. Carl Edwards. First off, I want to start by saying I am beginning to like Carl "Pope" Edwards. I like that he gives his trophies to sick kids. I like that he is the clean-cut guy. I like that he wins. I still hate the back flip. Anyway, I believe the they cheated this week. I think that car was low on both sides. I think the #16 (a team-mate, remember) jacked him up after the race to break whatever they were cheating with and to throw off the officials. Furthermore, I think it was no coincidence that Carl lost his balance and fell on the roof during post-race, to further confuse the officials. Its been like 4 years since they outlawed the roof celebration, and he's the first guys I have ever seen "accidentally" dent the roof since. Nope, this ain't a coincidence. This is Roush cheating. I don't really mind, I just don't want anyone to think we are dumb enough as racing fans to believe its all a coincidence.
On a side note, I am sick of trademark celebrations. Climbing the fence is a gay to me as the Pope's back flips. C'mon, is this the WWF now? Do we recognize drivers by their post-race moves? What ever happened to guys doing something new every time they won? At this point, I can turn off the TV as soon as I see who won because I know what the douchebag is going to do next. I want to see guys rip off some sick break-dancing moves at the start/finish line, or show up in victory lane with their motor coach. C'mon, lets make this interesting. If you're going to put on a show, don't give me the same act every week. Change it up a bit.
OK maybe I'm asking for too much. I also wanted R. Lee Ermey to air-drop in to give the command to start engines and I didn't get that.
OK, here's your results. I gotta get upstairs - big TV night tonight:
Eliminated Drivers:
NHIS - 1. #40 David Stremme (Scott Mann)
NHIS - 2. #01 Mark Martin/Regan Smith (Joe Yu)
Dover - 3. #11 Denny Hamlin (Carol Yu)
Dover - 4. #17 Matt Kenseth (Scott Mann) ELIMINATED
Remaining Drivers:
#20 Tony Stewart (Joe Yu)
#48 Jimmy Johnson (Ken Ross)
#24 Jeff Gordon (Steve Shaffer)
#99 Carl Edwards (Mike Inskeep)DOVER WINNER
#2 Kurt Busch (Curtis Krakowski)
#8 Dale Earnhardt Jr. (Jeff Terschak)
#1 martin Truex Jr. (Greg Osborne)
#5 Kyle Busch (Jon Lommerin)
#31 Jeff Burton (Pat Thornton)
#29 Kevin Harvick (Susie Mikesell)
#9 Kasey Kahne(Susie Mikesell)
#07 Clint Bowyer (Pat Thornton) NHIS WINNER
#12 Ryan Newman (Jon Lommerin)
#16 Greg Biffle (Greg Osborne)
#25 Casey Mears (Jeff Terschak)
#43 Bobby Labonte (Curtis Krakowski)
#26 Jaime McMurray (Mike Inskeep)
#18 J.J. Yeley (Steve Shaffer)
#42 Juan Pablo Montoya (Ken Ross)
#6 David Ragan (Carol Yu)
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