Vandelay - "Weak" 1

Well, our fall touch league started today. This is out 7th year in the league (yes, 7 years - in fact, our first game as a team was delayed a week due to 9/11). You'd think we might have something figured out by now. We wound up losing by about 2 TD's. We got straight up spanked. When our QB was a tight 3 for 3 in the first 5 minutes - well, 3 ints on 3+ attempts. Maybe that 'esplains' the problem. We trailed the whole game.

Vicki caught the first girl pass (or as Michelle wants us to refer to them, the "bitches" )of the year for a first down. Nice work. A good snag, especially considering she took the next one in the melon. Now I'll never hear the end of it. Michelle caught our first TD pass of the year. She snagged a 7 pointer at the tail end of the first half to keep us in contention. As usually, our girls are lookin' good so far. It's a great scene. We have 6 women, and they run on in lines like a freaking hockey team, but unlike our opponents, our ladies don't look like the Hansen Brothers from Slapshot.

I had one INT and a couple catches for 1st downs. I'm old and slow. I can't do much out there. They just keep me around to pay the refs fees, I think. We have one new guy, Will, who is faster than anyone in the entire league. Unfortunately, he also can outrun our QB's arm.

All in all, a crappy start to the season. There's always beers ready at the Treehouse, but nothing tastes better than victory. OK, maybe Mitchell's Carmel Fudge Brownie.

Side note: I always like to check out the competition's team names and jerseys. We have a rather catchy team name "Vandelay Industries." We adopted this name while people were still naming themselves after bars and dry cleaners. Sort of a group of trend setters, I guess (I was on a spinoff team when this was adopted, so I cannot take credit). Well, in the past we have seen names like "Kramerica". I guess I should look at it as if they are honoring our team, but in reality, I consider it a weak-ass copy from a bunch of douchebags.

Anyway, today we saw nothing of real class, but Shawn and I did decided that anyone who puts any sort of nickname on the back of their jerseys (t-shirts, they are freaking t-shirts for crying out loud. You are not going to be discovered by an NFL scout in this league - if you are wearing an actual jersey or mesh shirt, please walk into traffic - you are a douche bag) are total douche bags. (Am I using the word douche bag excessively?) In fact, we both agreed that is may as well say "Douche" or "Skank" on their backs. Or, "My doublewide is unlocked, and my infant is alone inside". Any is applicable.

To close, I am watching UofM lose their second game of the season. The "wuss-vermines" are starting to pretend to be injured to get off the field. Manningham, Hart, Henne, all faking injuries. Pussies. My dog had his nuts ripped out last week and he jumped right bask up and was tring to bang Vicki's leg about 10-minutes later. He is more man that the load of those losers in Michigan uniforms. MSU, 2-0, UofM - 0-2. It doesn't get much better, except maybe Vandelay 1-0. Well, 2-3 ain't bad.

FYI - The blogger.com spellcheck corrects douchebag into 2 words. Just thought you'd like to know that.

I'm living the High Life.